Random Blurbs: Life has a Sense of Humor

So these are just my random thoughts...raw..unedited..real distorted thoughts in my chaotic brain:

First off I had a crazy great weekend...fuck that...this whole month has been amazing really...
Damn its fuckin hot in here..let me turn off this ghetto 30yr old heater...

Although the month started a bit rocky for me I have def made a recovery..I revisited a lot from my past this month..
I hung out with Stevisimo at dave n busterss..def caught up..miss that dude...
also caught up with my co-workers from foot locker..great times with them...
re-connected my friendship with my 'ex' from Stony..good times wit my old booger..
spending a crazy night with my old Chaotic Suite mates...oh LORD knows how much Ive missed them....
then of course meeting up with Steven my ex from high school.

It was def a good feeling seeing him do so well with his life and he has an awesome girlfriend now..we spoke a lot about our relationship and what we learned from it...the after-math and such..made me appreciate how good of a boyfriend he was to me and he def set the standard for how i should be treated in a relationship as well as the kind of relationship with a guy i want...

Which reminds me, i sort of deaded the dude i was dating(the doorman). He was getting a bit too attached a little too fast...made me feel sooo uncomfy...like there was no room for a friendship, only romance. And for ME, friendship IS romance. I'd take a trip to an arcade over a fancy expensive dinner. I felt in order to keep getting to know him i had to keep intensifying the intimacy and romance and that's not my style. Another thing was he was def becoming a re-bound. I realized i was ready to be 100% single and i would never settle down with him, that was not fair for me to keep him on a string just for attention.

Some of my friends agree and some disagree with my decision. Some say 'you did the right thing'...some argue 'your so dumb and you'll regret it'. Maybe i will, but at this point it was unfair for me to do that to him, and he was super cool, so he'll make a nice girl happy one day.

Speaking of nice girls i been far from that. Lol. I don't know what has gotten into me lately. Reminds me of my mentality my sophomore yr in college. Reckless? Yes..Heartless? Most definitely.

There's this dude, and we've liked each other for almost 2 yrs now. At first it was him being single and me attached. Now its the exact opposite. Throughout the yrs no matter what, we've always stayed in touch and stuff. I've always kept him on the back burner as a 'what if' dude from the past. Lately though we've been chillin a lot and its probably because his girl is on 'vacation' lol. Which is cool, but evil.

We def click really well, he compliments my crazy goofy self without him trying so hard he is a cornball. I def solidified my crush on the dude. I also felt the guilt of my horrible intentions. He was def the moth to my flame..falling into my trap.

As the night went on i just decided...fuck it, i cant do this to his girl or him. Its way too unfair, I'll be the one getting hurt and looking like a skeez, so i just kept it friendly.

I am deciding to let life take its course, not only with him but with everything. Cant help but notice how much sense of humor Life has:

1. Me and my girls are planning a trip to go visit my old suite mate at her new school next semester, she goes to UT, why is it funny? I found out my ex is going there next semester! Haha, guess who wont be on that trip?

2. I had a horrrrrible dream that my mami died last night. It was one of those perpetual dreams you cant escape from. I slept for about 11hrs with that dream. I woke up and i couldn't let go of mi mami!

3. I have an awesome dude that is super-cool, smart, dorky, cute, and he likes me. Then he is totally taken by some girl.

4. Some indian chick on the news' name is 'Aditidi'..please sound that out with a re-re face. Loll

5. On Friday night my ex-ex was at the same party i was at and he was being mad weird and brushing me off like he is somebody(lord knows he shouldn't act like that after our last rendez-vous). Then guess who shows up? My old holiday boo, and something tells me my ex-ex isnt very fond of him(even tho we just friends now and he has a great girl, but my ex don't gotta know that lol) i guess life can be funny in my benefit too =)

Till next time people.....