The Family 'Burden'...

For the past year one of the strongest women I know has had her life hindered by a terminal disease. My aunt, or Puchita as the family knows her best, has Lou Gehrig's Disease.

To school you people real quick:
Lou Gehrigs is progressive, usually fatal, neurodegenerative disease AKA the nerve cells in the central nervous system that control voluntary muscle movement stop working and deteriorate all together. It can begin with a simple finger being paralyzed and it slowly becomes 2 fingers...your hand..then your arm. The patient may ultimately lose the ability to initiate and control all voluntary movement except for the eyes.

Today I was over my grandmas house, what the family calls the 'Hospital'. Everyone was enjoying conversation in the kitchen, telling stories and laughing till our tummys were aching. Then as I settled my laughter I asked "where is Titi Pucha?". The room went silent.

They pointed to the living room as if they were stricken by muteness. I was a bit disturbed and curious why she wasn't in the kitchen with us? So I went to the living room.

There. Sitting in dimmed light in a blank stare was my Titi Pucha. I sat right next to her and asked for my blessing gave her a big kiss on the cheek. I then got up and turned on the light and joked about the darkness. She laughed and then quickly stopped herself. This began to annoy me.

I sat next to her again and asked her why she stopped herself from laughing. She simply answered "I forgot what a laugh sounded like and I scared myself." My heart melted...

I assured her that with me she could express herself as she wished. So we spoke about general things like the election and school. She shared how she hates being treated as if she is a burden in the family and as if she lost the ability to speak to herself.

We spoke for another 30 minutes or so before I excused myself to watch entourage. Before I left she thanked me for realizing that just because he mobile skills were hindered she is still a woman with opinion. I gave her a huge hug and was on my way.

On my way I made a pit stop in the kitchen for munchies. Everyone had left and it was just me and my other aunt in the room. I asked her how she was doing. She answered, "I'm just here dealing with my depression and anxiety attacks, most of all dealing with 'the problem'", as she points to the living room. I was filled with fury.

How could she call my Titi Pucha, her sister, 'the problem'??? As if it were her fault she was plagued with the disease. Then having the audacity to blame her for your depression, in addition stripping her of her identity/dignity by not even saying her name.

Instead of blowing up and adding to her 'depression', I simply smiled my best smile and told her "Everything is about perspective, be positive and you will feel the joy that has always been there, but was always ignored."